Flappy the Penguin-King

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Flappy the Penguin-King is a pretty cool person.

He is this.

Okay I lied.

Don't you hate when that happens? I hate when people lie.

He's actually totally crazy incredibly cool.

Like this.

"Help! Let me out of this wiki page!"

haha. You probably thought this president was talking.

...well no. No it wasn't. It's a picture and pictures don't talk.

OKAY KIDS LET'S GET DOWN TO SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Flappy was born a long time ago in a spaceship and he was already incredibly wise like King Solomon so they took him out of hypersleep and put him on earth in the early 90s as a hungry toddler and he kept eating so he kept growing which is scary because he's still doing both of those things so what if one day he is ENTIRELY TOO TALL TO WALK THROUGH DOORS?

Take a moment to think about this.

I think the world is too concerned with things with genetically engineered food and nuclear proliferation because NONE OF THIS WILL MATTER when Flappy is tall enough to roam the world like a sickly misproportioned giraffe scratching his back with the Eiffel Tower and eating shaved ice from the scalp of Mount Everest. 

LIKE THIS BUT MORE ALIVE.

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